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Hesitation to use the I may be a tell-tale sign that the I does not know itself fully. Or maybe the I doesn’t know which I, of the many different Is, to use. In any case, there is an I. And there is a You. The You is validated by the I. There couldn’t be a You without the I. But the I also becomes a You through the validation of I through You. And so, the I also exists thanks to You. And so to You who is reading this confused speech of I, THANK YOU. I's existence has become meaningful because of You.
______________________________This blog won't pretend to be hilariously funny or witty or beautiful or profound. But it is an indulgence of all sorts of things that appeal to my senses. Anything I find funny, witty, beautiful, meaningful and worth noticing is found here.
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Created by Eugene Villar.Posts tagged with friends.
Malungkot ang Maya
Today, I started work with a heavy heart. I didn’t even want to work. How could I? All I wanted to do was cry and mourn for my beautiful friend, Pam Pascua.
Pam at the Viva Voce Gothic Christmas Party
I met her at the Viva Voce Voice Workshop at Baguio last summer 2010. She slept on the bed right beside mine and I remember asking her if I snored too loud to which she kindly told me that I didn’t make any “nightly sounds”, fortunately for her.
She was recovering then. Several months later, I found out that she had to stop school for a while because she got sick again. And I remember being surprised at how thin she was when we sang at the Arts in the City. I did not worry though, for however thin or frail she looked, she was always lively and cheerful. I believed she would pull through again and again.
I remember one night at the workshop, she told me that she used to be athletic. She used to do swimming, volleyball, running, and all other sports. Then in an almost bitter tone she said, “Ayan tuloy, nasobrahan.” I didn’t know what to say then. What do you say to that? But she was honest and accepting. And brave. Very brave.
I wouldn’t be pretentious and say we were really close, or that I know a lot about Pam. But that’s just it isn’t it? Despite the fact that our time together was limited, and I didn’t have a lot of chances to spend time with these lovely people (the Viva Voce people), I could not be more sad at Pam’s passing.
She had a concert last year which, unfortunately, I was not able to attend and I deeply regret it now. For I had always wished to watch her in concert. How could I forget her heart wrenching rendition of Estrella’s Malungkot ang Maya? This, she sung with a haunting, beautiful voice that tugged at my heartstrings. I remember my dad saying he cried watching & listening to Pam perform that piece.
Today, the heavens cried for the loss of a beautiful child. Today, I cried for the loss of a friend. Today, Pam Pascua lost her life. Today, Pam Pascua became free.
Last Day at the Viva Voce Workshop Baguio 2010
Pam with some of the Viva Voce people I love
Here is a link to a video of Pam: GSIS - Malungkot ang Maya (Pam Pascua)
